So this “After action report” if you will, is so far overdue
it’s not even funny.
Many of you – family, friends, friends who are pretty much
family and even distant acquaintances supported me through prayer and some even
financially to travel to Nicaragua this spring on a mission trip with my
church. By now you’ve probably figured there would be no update… sorry for the inexcusably
long delay.
We’ll start with why I went to Nicaragua…
Last year my church went on the same mission trip and I felt a tug
calling me to go also. I made excuses why I could not. Debt, no time off work, being
too busy with other stuff were a few of the reasons I chose not to go.
Now I have to back up just a bit. I don’t want to write a book today,
so if you want more details on any of this ask me later (preferably in person
when there’s time to sit and chat for a while, but if we are rarely in contact
face to face I suppose email or social media will work.) Anyhow, back in 1998 sitting
in a canoe in the middle of a lake in northern Michigan God called me to a life
of full time ministry – shortly after that He confirmed that call through other
people. Through the years sense I have served Him in many areas… and I have ran
from Him and taken control myself in many others. One of the most recent areas that
I ran from God was abandoning His call “for now” to focus on a career I
expected to be very good financially, with hopes of squashing my student loans
much quicker than has proven possible. That career is that of a truck driver –
first “over the road” (which ended up being one of the deadest driest times of
my life,) followed by a local driving job. I allowed work and hobbies to
consume 100% of my time and pretty much desires for a time… leaving little room
for God – definitely nothing beyond lip service and warming a chair on Sunday
mornings. Numerous times over the years people have asked me if I still
believed I was called to the ministry, and still intended to follow that path
at some point. My answer was always yes… until one day. One of my nephews–pretty
much my best friend currently, toward the middle or end of 2014 asked me that
age old question. Do you still plan to go into full time ministry some day? For
the first time ever I did not give a definite yes. My answer was something
along the lines of “I’d like to, but I don’t realistically
see it happening.” Even as I write this the emotion I felt when giving that answer floods back over me… hurt, disappointment and a sense of uselessness/worthlessness. You see – while I am very good at my job (driving a truck,) and have gotten very good at whatever I’ve put my mind to (especially running any type of equipment,) I knew for a fact that driving a truck or running farm equipment is not what I was created for. I also knew (and know) for a fact that God created me for ministry. By giving up on what I was created for, for the first time in a long time I now had absolutely no purpose in life.
see it happening.” Even as I write this the emotion I felt when giving that answer floods back over me… hurt, disappointment and a sense of uselessness/worthlessness. You see – while I am very good at my job (driving a truck,) and have gotten very good at whatever I’ve put my mind to (especially running any type of equipment,) I knew for a fact that driving a truck or running farm equipment is not what I was created for. I also knew (and know) for a fact that God created me for ministry. By giving up on what I was created for, for the first time in a long time I now had absolutely no purpose in life.
Back to the recent past… not long after verbally giving up on my call
to ministry my church began talking about the next trip to Nicaragua planned
for April 2015. After missing last year’s trip I was pretty much planning on
going… at the same time I knew I needed a good kick in the butt, or
mountain-top experience… events like that cannot be our complete life in Christ
– we’re going to have to travel through the valleys also – but I do think the “mountain-top”
experience is necessary occasionally to refresh and refuel us… I knew that I needed
that refueling, so when God called me there, I chose not to ignore Him – I decided to go.
As the 2015 Nicaragua team was built we divided up tasks designed to
prepare us for our journey, Mark asked me to take on the task of regularly sending
out a few verses/spiritual encouragement to the team. If you’ve ever talked
with Mark about mission trips, one thing he has likely mentioned is that everybody
gets a nickname on trips he leads. Mark picked “Padre” for me (Spanish for
Father), assigning it due to that being the role I was filling on the team.
That was the beginning of my realization that God was not done with His call on
my life, even if I thought I had blown it.
We went to Nicaragua to
rebuild part of a youth center – to touch lives in a tangible way. We also went
to visit orphans and a school. Those parts of our trip will stick with me for
the rest of my life.
It was amazing to go to
Nicaragua and meet Jhonny and Nidia, local young life leaders who gave up good
paying jobs and a relatively “safe,” comfortable life to serve God by reaching
local youth for the kingdom of heaven. I am so blessed that God gave us the
ability to bring resources that would have taken them a lifetime on their own to obtain.
I am thankful that I was allowed the opportunity to assist in the building of
new walls on a youth center that is now being used to share the love of Jesus
with young people in Nicaragua.
I will never forget
walking into an understaffed special needs orphanage full of kids forgotten and
cast aside by society – a modern day “leper” colony. As I remember that
orphanage, I remember the smell that hit your nose when walking through the
door – some mixture of vomit, dirty diapers, and clothes that probably had not
seen a washer in some time… not to forget the sweat caused by the 100°+ heat. Even more than that though, I’ll remember the smiles
of the children who have not seen outsiders in nearly a year… I’ll remember
their grins and laughter brought on by a simple hug or laying a hand on their
shoulder.
I’ll never forget going to a school attended by several of
the children sponsored by the ministry that hosted us in Nicaragua. I’ll never
forget the laughter of children who had never had their teeth brushed as we
taught them how to brush. I’ll never forget how many children’s gums started
bleeding the second a toothbrush touched them because one had never been used
before in their life, yet they kept giggling anyhow. I’ll never forget how many
children tried to give me back their toothbrush after using it because they
could not believe we were actually letting them keep that fifty-cent piece of
plastic & bristles, nor the warning of those we went with that every child had to use the toothbrush there since it would be harder for their parents to
sell a used toothbrush.
One of the hardest memories for me from Nicaragua was our
trip to the trash dump… the heat coming from the ground made it hard for me to
stand still with my thick-souled work boots, yet there were families – from the children up to the grandparents, many with nothing more than flip-flops – some without
even that… they live right outside the dump and make their living there searching
through rubbish for recyclable materials that I don’t think twice about
throwing away, all for a couple bucks for food (or, unfortunately, more glue to
sniff.) Remembering this place makes me realize just a little how ungrateful
and unaware I am of everything I have been blessed with… maybe that’s the
hardest part of remembering the trash dump… the fact that it forces me to take
a good long honest look at my selfish, ungrateful self and realize that there’s
more than my “needs” in this world.
My favorite memories from Nicaragua are all related to being with people living in community, being the church, and loving each other. Despite the obvious poverty in the areas we were allowed to serve, there was no shortage of smiles, laughter and love for everyone around. There was no focus on who
“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he
said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all
your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And
a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two
commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” – Matthew 22:36-40 (ESV)
Perhaps the biggest ways I have been affected by going to
Nicaragua is first the fact that Jesus used this trip to teach me how to love
him deeper than ever before (which, in the four months since returning has only
grown stronger – not weaker,) and second being that my Father God used this
trip to renew the call to ministry that He placed on my life… really to remind
me that just because I wandered away from His call on my life, that did not
make it His plan.
Thank you, to those who prayed for me and the rest of the
team… and to those who financially supported us. Your investment in the Kingdom
was put to good use for lasting, positive change both at home and abroad.
