So this “After action report” if you will, is so far overdue
it’s not even funny.
Many of you – family, friends, friends who are pretty much
family and even distant acquaintances supported me through prayer and some even
financially to travel to Nicaragua this spring on a mission trip with my
church. By now you’ve probably figured there would be no update… sorry for the inexcusably
long delay.
We’ll start with why I went to Nicaragua…
Last year my church went on the same mission trip and I felt a tug
calling me to go also. I made excuses why I could not. Debt, no time off work, being
too busy with other stuff were a few of the reasons I chose not to go.
Now I have to back up just a bit. I don’t want to write a book today,
so if you want more details on any of this ask me later (preferably in person
when there’s time to sit and chat for a while, but if we are rarely in contact
face to face I suppose email or social media will work.) Anyhow, back in 1998 sitting
in a canoe in the middle of a lake in northern Michigan God called me to a life
of full time ministry – shortly after that He confirmed that call through other
people. Through the years sense I have served Him in many areas… and I have ran
from Him and taken control myself in many others. One of the most recent areas that
I ran from God was abandoning His call “for now” to focus on a career I
expected to be very good financially, with hopes of squashing my student loans
much quicker than has proven possible. That career is that of a truck driver –
first “over the road” (which ended up being one of the deadest driest times of
my life,) followed by a local driving job. I allowed work and hobbies to
consume 100% of my time and pretty much desires for a time… leaving little room
for God – definitely nothing beyond lip service and warming a chair on Sunday
mornings. Numerous times over the years people have asked me if I still
believed I was called to the ministry, and still intended to follow that path
at some point. My answer was always yes… until one day. One of my nephews–pretty
much my best friend currently, toward the middle or end of 2014 asked me that
age old question. Do you still plan to go into full time ministry some day? For
the first time ever I did not give a definite yes. My answer was something
along the lines of “I’d like to, but I don’t realistically
see it happening.” Even as I write this the emotion I felt when giving that answer floods back over me… hurt, disappointment and a sense of uselessness/worthlessness. You see – while I am very good at my job (driving a truck,) and have gotten very good at whatever I’ve put my mind to (especially running any type of equipment,) I knew for a fact that driving a truck or running farm equipment is not what I was created for. I also knew (and know) for a fact that God created me for ministry. By giving up on what I was created for, for the first time in a long time I now had absolutely no purpose in life.
see it happening.” Even as I write this the emotion I felt when giving that answer floods back over me… hurt, disappointment and a sense of uselessness/worthlessness. You see – while I am very good at my job (driving a truck,) and have gotten very good at whatever I’ve put my mind to (especially running any type of equipment,) I knew for a fact that driving a truck or running farm equipment is not what I was created for. I also knew (and know) for a fact that God created me for ministry. By giving up on what I was created for, for the first time in a long time I now had absolutely no purpose in life.
Back to the recent past… not long after verbally giving up on my call
to ministry my church began talking about the next trip to Nicaragua planned
for April 2015. After missing last year’s trip I was pretty much planning on
going… at the same time I knew I needed a good kick in the butt, or
mountain-top experience… events like that cannot be our complete life in Christ
– we’re going to have to travel through the valleys also – but I do think the “mountain-top”
experience is necessary occasionally to refresh and refuel us… I knew that I needed
that refueling, so when God called me there, I chose not to ignore Him – I decided to go.
As the 2015 Nicaragua team was built we divided up tasks designed to
prepare us for our journey, Mark asked me to take on the task of regularly sending
out a few verses/spiritual encouragement to the team. If you’ve ever talked
with Mark about mission trips, one thing he has likely mentioned is that everybody
gets a nickname on trips he leads. Mark picked “Padre” for me (Spanish for
Father), assigning it due to that being the role I was filling on the team.
That was the beginning of my realization that God was not done with His call on
my life, even if I thought I had blown it.
We went to Nicaragua to
rebuild part of a youth center – to touch lives in a tangible way. We also went
to visit orphans and a school. Those parts of our trip will stick with me for
the rest of my life.






My favorite memories from Nicaragua are all related to being with people living in community, being the church, and loving each other. Despite the obvious poverty in the areas we were allowed to serve, there was no shortage of smiles, laughter and love for everyone around. There was no focus on who
has the latest and greatest apple or android phone, who has the best computer system, gaming system, or latest game. There was no focus on who has the biggest house, nicest sports car or best truck. There was no concern about seeing the next movie released, or getting the latest and greatest album. The real focus in Nicaragua was living John 13:34 (whether the verse was known or not) where Jesus says “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” Seeing love lived out a world away makes me question, have we –the church– forgotten all about the greatest two commandments here? Have I?
“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he
said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all
your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And
a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two
commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” – Matthew 22:36-40 (ESV)
Perhaps the biggest ways I have been affected by going to
Nicaragua is first the fact that Jesus used this trip to teach me how to love
him deeper than ever before (which, in the four months since returning has only
grown stronger – not weaker,) and second being that my Father God used this
trip to renew the call to ministry that He placed on my life… really to remind
me that just because I wandered away from His call on my life, that did not
make it His plan.